Wednesday, March 28, 2007

You #$%@ Milking @#$& Burrito

This crap is funny. A formula for insults. Just a warning for those of you who work for the man, this contains naughty words.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

A Warning

Our friend Stacey is tricky. You might think you are having a nice conversation over dinner, telling odd and revealing stories about your past, but that is not the case.

You are on the record.

So I warn everyone. What you say around Stacey might find its way to the Internet. And we all know that everything on the Internet is true.

On a side note - you really question your underwear organization scheme when you see it all written out in front of you. I may have to change it up a bit. Is there a Zagat rating for boxer-briefs?

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Must Be the Beyond Part

So as a straight white man, there are several sources of fashion compliments that you regard higher than others.

Today, while browsing the Bed Bath and Beyond looking for replacement Brita filters, an employee asked if he could be of assistance. He guided me to the filter area, I thanked him and he hit me with this:

"No problem. That is a cool hoodie man, it's tight."

What is key here is that this was a young, tattooed black man. One of those aforementioned special fashion compliment groups.

It should also be noted, especially for those reading this over 35 years of age and under 25, that "tight" makes no reference to the actual fit and clingyness of my hoodie. He was merely stating that he thought it was cool.

So please take a moment out of your day to recognize the fucking magnificence of my hoodie.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Talkin' 'bout the Ghetto

I just added the release date for Grand Theft Auto: IV to my Outlook calendar (October 16, 2007). I am now more of a dork than ever.